Friday, 27 June 2014

The Slap

Hi guys! I hope you are all well! Today I am writing up my first opinion piece in ages. I do love writing these type of posts up, I love to get my own opinion out there, these posts are usually well received by those that read them, and I love to get others two cents on the issue. This is an issue I have never felt particularly compelled to write about, before an incident I faced happened. Though this has always bothered me, seeing it happen to women and girl friends of my very own. Yet, on the flip side, this issue has also affected my male friends. Both men and women are affected by the issue, it depends on what side and perspective you identify with most. This post will touch on sexual harassment and women on men violence. The incident which I will talk about shortly, ties both issues together, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about both. 
First, let us compare two very similar and highly publicised incidents. In 2009, Chris Brown (Who I despise with all my heart) beats his girlfriend Rihanna to a bloody pulp. For a short while, his career hits rock bottom and is bombarded with insults, threats, ridicule, and to this day, people will never let him forget what he did, as well it shouldn't be forgotten. However, just mere weeks ago, caught on elevator CCTV, Solange Knowles, Beyonce's little sister is seen slapping, and beating her brother in law, Jay-Z. The Internet response, in my opinion, was ridiculous. Jokes were made at Jay-Z's expense, some patted Solange on the back for ''standing up for Beyonce'', when some rumours came out (at the same time the incident happened, suspicious, like the rumours were made up, to excuse her actions), and the incident has easily been laughed off and forgotten. 
I am so against women on men violence as much as I am against it vice versa. I can be just as harrowing and hurtful if it were the other way around. Also added into the mix, is the feeling that men can't hit women back, the humiliation factor and they may feel that if they were to talk about it, some people could take the piss out of them. Gender doesn't equal strength. It should be seen as completely unacceptable in both situations. 
However, lately, I have been feeling conflicted in my beliefs and they have entered a grey area. Last Friday night, I was out in the local nightclub, and it was a fantastic night, everyone I loved was there. However, an incident occurred at the end of the night that had me absolutely seething. My friend and I were leaving the nightclub and as we were walking down the stairs, we were called by some strange guys we had never met. We ignored them. As we got past them, one of them decides it would be a great idea to give me a slap on the ass. Without thinking, I turned around and punched the guy that slapped me and sent him backwards, nearly taking his two friends with him in the process. It was like a reflex, I didn't think about it, I just did it. Don't think it was brought about by alcohol. I only had one drink the entire night because I was too broke. However, had my friend not pulled me back, the fight could have taken a dangerous turn The steps in the club are not the safest, and I was in high heels. 
I am still 100% against women on men violence, for the sake of violence. But I wonder, does any such line to be crossed or any sort of situation exist where it becomes okay to strike out? If so, should gender come into the equation? We are all equal. If a hand was laid on me, is it justice to lay a hand back on them? An eye for an eye?
Looking back, if the incident happened again, and I thought what I was going to do through, I would still retaliate in the way I did. I believe that you should only strike someone on defence. I believe I was defending myself. I have noticed lately with women on a night out, that sexual harassment of women perpetrated by, and I can't stress this enough, SOME men, seems to be on the rise.
 Most women are used to the perverse comments and suggestions, unsolicited touching and catcalls. It can leave you feeling violated, dirty, embarrassed, and, for lack of  better word, shite. It's not a compliment or an ego boost in any way. I don't know why *some* men feel it's okay to put their hands on you so easily and without your consent.

It's the sense of entitlement that gets me. I wish I could say that that was the first encounter I've had, and if it was, I may have reacted differently. However, most nights out, I have had some unwanted attention and I have been able to keep my cool and get myself out of the situation without much hassle. This incident though, was so bold and out there, the anger and annoyance from other times sort of culminated into one outburst.
I fully believe that women on men violence has never been taken as seriously as men on women violence. Unfortunately, I don't see that changing anytime in the near future. If a woman hits a man, she may be seen as the one in control, powerful and know how to look after herself, and it seems easier for a woman to hit a man. If a man hits a woman, he is awful, a bully, a coward, and not a man at all. From the men I have discussed the issue with, they will not, under any circumstances, hit a woman, but he will, restrain her untill she stops and calms down. As someone who doesn't place importance of one sex over the other, this is a perfectly reasonable way to react, whether they be male or female.
I am nearing the end of my post and I feel that this post is slightly all over the place and contradictory in some parts. This is because my beliefs are also all over the place with these issues at the moment, and they have entered a messy grey area. So, if you made it to the end of this post, kudos! I would really love to hear your own opinion on the issues I discussed on this post. So let me know below.
Thank you all so much for reading, and stay safe.
Stay fab xo
Kim. :)


  1. I think this reads absolutely fine!

    I especially like the way you tell the story completely honestly, you don't skate over what you did, you just admit to it and explain why. Of course you were in the right--I actually smiled when I read it.

    This sort of thing has happened to me a lot, on one occasion in school I meant to bat someone's hands away and accidentally slapped them in the face... I actually felt bad and apologised, but the person was super polite to me ever since!

    Everyone, male and female, needs to know that people aren't there for their amusement, and that they can't just get away with this stuff.

    Thanks for the post, Kim, and for making people think!

    1. Truth be told, I was nervous putting this up, but thank you so much for your lovely feedback! :) Accidentally hitting someone is one thing and I'm glad he has been polite to you since. Yeah, when stuff like this happens, you can feel like you're just there for their entertainment...