Sunday, 9 February 2014

The Roaring 20's - Questions and Confusion.

Hi guys! I hope you are all doing well. I am back doing another opinion/thoughtful post that I really love doing! They are always well received and have great feedback. Especially if you're in your twenties, you will get where I'm coming from hopefully with this post. I'm talking about the questions and confusion and mini life crisis that happens when you hit your twenties. I'm not crazy, I promise. I've know plenty of people in their twenties who feel that lost,wondering who they are and feel like they are shooting in the dark with their lives.
It seems that we had it all figured out in our teens, that life was going to sort itself out and go ''according to the plan'' as soon as we hit 18, or maybe 20. We were going to move out from our parents house ''the minute we turn 18'', and there was nothing our parents could do about it. Then, we were going to move into a fantastic flat with our best friends, we'd go out every night. We'd have our dream job at 21, we'd travel the world, and everything would be like that forever. Money or the R word - responsibilities, never came in the the fantasy we created for ourselves.
But as we soon found out, this would not be the case. You pass by your 18th birthday, if you live in Ireland, you're more than likely in college without a job or the full maintenance grant, you're living at home still with your parents experiencing what I called, a ''Sort of independence''. Money, if you had no job was hard to come by. Your best friends are all over the country at college or working, there goes your flatmates. The design for your life fades away and we are left with nothing but confusion and questions. The blueprint for our fantasy life has faded. So, what now? We may be happy, but confused as to what to do, what will our life be now? I'm not bitter, I've heard of this time and time again.
When I was 16, I had to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life (thanks, Irish education system). I thought I was going to go to Limerick IT, two or three hours where I lived, doing a course I had no interest in just to get out of the town I lived in, and I would go everywhere on a motorbike and live in a great flat, money never came into it. Later on, I thought what was the point in doing a course I didn't like? I went to a local college, I did a course I loved and continued to live at home. Then I graduated. I was at a loss what to do, and even more so when I hit my 20's. No job and living at home, and not quite sure what I wanted out of my life.

It got me thinking. What do we want out of life? How do we figure it out? How do we go from being so sure of our plans to so unsure? How do we know that we're already on the right path? We can't see into the future, we don't know what's around the corner, something that could make or break us. Something that could make us worry about everything in life, or vice versa, not care at all. Some people envision their life with marriage and kids. Some put more importance over travelling and adventure. Some would put career as the most important thing. I wonder can we have it all? A happy marriage, beautiful kids, a satisfying career and travel too? Or do we have to choose between a happy home life or a life full of adventure and a great career? Surely if we tried to have it all, something would suffer. Could choosing the happy home life lead to resentment and plans unfulfilled? Does preferring the life of travel and adventure or a great career lead to regret of not having a family of our own?
Where I live, so many my age and younger are starting to settle down, have kids, move in with their partner, and getting engaged. If that's what makes them happy, that's great, really. I have a boyfriend for over four years as much as I love him and see a happy future with him, the thought of settling down now, makes me choke up and a voice inside my head screams ''No!''. A friend of mine asked us when we planned to move in. The deafening silence could have matched any scream, how would I know? I'm 21 next month, am I supposed to know what I want just yet, as it seems so many my own age does. The girls and guys my own age that aren't settling down have started on their travels. From a young age, I knew that I never, ever wanted marriage, and that I have got to travel the world, and that's never changed. I might want kids in the future, I don't see myself travelling untill my late 20's, but I don't want to have kids when I'm in my 40's. Everything feels all over the place and feels like I might not have it all and something will have to suffer, and I won't let that be travelling. I want that too much. So does that mean the prospect for a happy family goes out the window? How do we know what comes first? I suppose it's our own gut instinct.
As much as I am confused about where my own life is heading, I'm the sort of person that will always look on the positive side of things. The twenties to me, will be the most exciting time of our lives. There's so much experiences, good and bad that we can learn and grow from, that like in our teenage years, will shape us into the person that we are, and will be. Dodgy style, hair, parties, experience and taste in men, can totally be forgiven because hey, you're in your twenties. It's a fun time to experiment and explore, untill we hit the thirties, the time where we really have to be adults, and have our shit together. It's important to remember that the biggest pressure to have it all sorted out, comes from ourselves. Our parents really lay off us and let us be independent, mine do anyway, and let me make my own mistakes. Our friends are also trying to figure it out for themselves. The pressure really comes from ourselves. We have to cut ourselves some slack.

I really hope this doesn't sound like I'm having a mini meltdown or a life crisis. If you're in your twenties, you'll (hopefully) understand. The early twenties is a time full of questions and confusion, hopefully in my mid twenties, I'll have a better grasp of things. (No promises though). I suppose this is the part of the blog where I give some unsolicited ''advice''. I wish I could, but I can't as I'm still trying to figure this out for myself. I just try to take things one day at a time, you never know what's around the corner that could change your life, or your whole outlook on life. I try to put 110% into everything I do, and keep an eye out for opportunities so I have a good starting point to sort out the life I want for myself. I try to experience as much as I can to get the most out of life and try to live without any regrets that will follow me throughout life.

If you managed to read this all without x'ing out, bravo. It wasn't the easiest posts to write as writer's block struck a few times, and to me, the natural thought process seems quite muddled. Not my best post admittedly, but I wanted to get it out there and write it, so, voila.
Thank you all for reading,
Stay fab xo
Kim. :)


  1. Ha! I totally hear you on this! Being in our 20's is so strange and confusing.

    Kallie @ But First Coffee